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December 3, 2012 / Dale Melchin

Relationships are Central to Success

Have you ever looked at a person and saw how successful they were?  Failure and frustration seemed to be the furthest thing from them, and they were constantly happy.  If you look most of the time you can see that they have excellent relationships with the people they are around and work with on a daily basis.

This doesn’t necessarily mean they have a lot of close friends.  The probably only have a few of those.  The person that I am talking about has the ability to get people to like them and they enjoy working with them.  It simply means they are able to keep and maintain contacts in and outside of their action field.  They are very people centric, because they realize people are what make up organizations, so they make a point to relate well with people.

So with that said what are the keys to managing good personal and professional relationships?

1. Give more than you receive.

Don’t be a door mat, but at the same time, if you are able to give help, do it.  The individual you have helped will remember it and have your back at a later time.  With relationships the possibilities are endless.  Now keep in mind, that your motive for giving shouldn’t be primarily to get back.  It should be for the thing itself.  The Universe and perhaps the individual make pick up on that.  No, you have to be someone who gives without thought to return.

2.  Don’t be a show off of your accomplishments.

For the most part, I’m someone who is happy right where he is, I have ambitions beyond my current station, but I make it a point to be happy.  However, don’t be so pugnacious in showing off your happiness that you turn other people off.  I’ve made this mistake of “stinking” of happiness, and I think it annoys people and sets me back, not by much though.  I’m not going to change myself to make others happy.  And ultimately I think most people would rather deal with someone who is over the top happy than over the top depressed.  But still, don’t show off your accomplishments.  Relate well to others, generally empathize, advise only when asked, just be a genuine person.

3. Be Confident

Of course it has to come from within.  You may need to practice being confident before you go and act it out in real time.  The more you practice, the better you will get at it, and others will see it and be drawn to you.  Walk upright, shoulders back, eye contact, and strong voice, will help greatly as well, and it will cause others to be confident in you.

While I’m not dining with high rollers yet, I have found that by just practicing these three things I get along better with others, which makes the work day go by much better and faster and I ultimately know doing these things will lead to further success, minimize frustration, and ultimately bring external happiness.

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